


dying in LA

by astrosminsung



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: AND SANHA IS A PANICKED GAY PLEASE, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, LISTEN MINHYUK JUST DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO REACT, M/M, as usual, lapslock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-29
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2019-05-30 07:51:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15092387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrosminsung/pseuds/astrosminsung
Summary: “leave me alone,” Sanha was lying. he was lying right through his stupid teeth. he didn’t want Minhyuk to leave, not at all.





	dying in LA

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iahWWAr82Q0)  
> 

he was so stupid, he was _dumb_. he shouldn’t have kissed Minhyuk, he shouldn’t have fallen for him. it was all a mistake. Sanha swallowed the sob he felt rising in his throat as he rushed down the street, he stumbled over his own feet multiple times, knees shaking and mind wandering. 

 

his mind kept replaying the moment over and over again, Minhyuk’s smile, his eyes shining. he remembers the urge to kiss him rising in Sanha’s chest, so strongly that he actually lurched forward, pressing their lips together and he remembers feeling so warm and happy and at home in that moment. but then he pulled away, and realized what he had just done. he realized that he had kissed Minhyuk without asking first, had done so without his permission. he remembers looking up to see the smile that had previously made Minhyuk’s eyes shine fade from his lips and watched as his eyes grew wide and Sanha remembers falling backward and mumbling an “i’m sorry” as he got up and ran out the door. he remembers minhyuk’s yells after him as he ran down the dark sidewalk.

 

Sanha knows he should be scared. it’s 2am, he’s stumbling down city streets after running out of his best friend’s apartment not 10 minutes ago. this should all terrify him, but he felt numb. he swallowed another sob and stared blankly in front of him as he continues to stumble along. 

 

he passed few people, those he did see stared at him with judgment and confusion in their eyes, most likely assuming he got drunk at a frat party. maybe if they knew they’d console him, maybe they’d hug him or allow them to call his mother from their phones, since he had left his own on Minhyuk’s bed. he wanted his mom, he just wanted to hug her and cry into her shoulder, but he’s an obscenely large distance away from her, and at this thought he felt the lump in his throat grow larger. 

 

he was near to turning a corner when he heard hard footsteps behind him, a hand grab his wrist and heavy breathing by his right shoulder.

 

“Sanha,” no.

 

no nono. no please.

 

“Sanha please look at me.”

 

no he couldn’t look at Minhyuk, he couldn’t look the boy he loved in the eyes. not right now.

 

“leave me alone,” Sanha was lying. he was lying right through his stupid teeth. he didn’t want Minhyuk to leave, not at all. 

 

“Sanha-“

 

“Minhyuk just LEAVE. please,” Sanha turned to him then, staring hard at the ground between their feet. “you don’t like me, i get it, i really do. i’m sorry i kissed you, i’m sorry i ruined everything. i’m sorry i love you, i’m sorry i had to go and be dumb and fall for you. i’m sorry. please just… let me go.”

 

“Sanha look at me,” Minhyuk’s voice was shaking. “please just look at me.”

 

“i’m so-“

 

“i love you too, Sanha.”

 

Sanha’s eyes snapped upward then, latching onto eyes already staring at him. eyes that were filled with genuine unadulterated love and _tears._

 

“i love you Sanha, i love you so fucking much. i’ve loved you since we first met, god, i have never loved anyone, anything as much as i love you.”

 

Sanha was slow to process the words that had fallen from Minhyuk’s lips, slow to latch onto the meanings and implications laced into every syllable. his eyebrows furrowed as he stared at the boy he had fallen for, the boy he cherished as though he was an antique, ready to break any minute. he saw how tears threatened to fall and how his hand shook by his side and how his chest heaved from running to catch Sanha before he could slip from Minhyuk’s fingers.

 

and Sanha was hit with the realization that he was _right_. he was _right_ for loving him. he was _right_ for kissing him, for falling for him, for _everything_. Sanha was right and he felt big, ugly tears begin to slip down his cheeks as he realized that he was finally right about _something._

 

“oh my god Minhyuk,” Sanha collapsed into the smaller boy’s arms then, burying his face in the crook of Minhyuk’s neck as he cried. 

 

he cried and cried and cried for a long time, and after awhile he registered a damp spot forming on his own shirt, and the realization that Minhyuk as well was crying only spurred him on more, and he finally let a sob escape from his throat, burning his chest as hiccuped sobs clawed their way up and out. he felt Minhyuk’s back shake more and more as time went on, his own sobs calming to wet puffs of air every few seconds. as he calmed Minhyuk only seemed to grow more upsets and Sanha became worried

 

“Minhyuk,” he said softly, muttering the boy’s name into his ear.

 

“i’m so sorry. i’m so so sorry Sanha,” he could just barely make out what Minhyuk was saying, his words muffled by Sanha’s own shoulder. “i’m so sorry i didn’t tell you sooner, i’m sorry for how i reacted, i’m so sorry i hurt you.”

 

Sanha hugged Minhyuk tighter then, burying his face in his hair, taking a deep breath filled with the scent of Minhyuk’s lavender shampoo. “Minhyuk it’s okay. it’s okay, i promise,” and it happened so fast, Sanha barely had time to register that Minhyuk had even pulled away.

 

and despite how wet their cheeks were, despite the fact that they were still both crying, despite the fact that it was passed 2am on a tuesday night and they were standing in the middle of the sidewalk, surrounded by tall buildings and stars hanging brightly in the sky above them, the kiss felt perfect. it felt perfect and _right_. Sanha didn’t know where to put his hands and neither, it seemed, did Minhyuk, but they still made it work. Sanha’s hands settled on Minhyuk’s waist and Minhyuk’s were pressed to Sanha’s cheeks, and he may have been squishing his face a bit, but Sanha couldn’t care less. they kissed like that for a long time, and even as they both pulled away, and labored breaths filled the air, Sanha wished they could have kissed longer. after they had both regained their breath, sanha asked a question.

 

“Hey Minhyuk,” the older boy hummed in response. “what now?”

 

“i-“ Minhyuk puffed air out from his nose, eyebrows furrowing just slightly. “i’m not really sure.”

 

“cute.”

 

“what?”

 

“you’re cute!”

 

“i am not cute!” Minhyuk laughed.

 

“yes you are! you’re really cute!!” Sanha smiled, eyes turning upwards.

 

“am not,” Minhyuk hummed. “anyway, you’re the cute one.”

 

“shut up Park Minhyuk! you’re making me blush,” Sanha pouted, hitting Minhyuk’s arm.

 

“you just cant accept the truth!” Minhyuk patted sanha’s cheek, leaving his hand there once again, thumb rubbing his skin gently. “hey,”

 

“hey,” Sanha replied.

 

“do you want to go on a date with me?”

 

Sanha couldn’t stop the gasp that escaped his lips. “of course i want to go on a date with you!!”

**Author's Note:**

> cry over socky with me on
> 
> \- [finger guns (my main)](lovelyjjonghyun.tumblr.com)  
> \- [jazz hands (my incorrect astro quotes blog)](incorrect-astro.tumblr.com)  
> \- [winks (my twt)](https://twitter.com/jjinwhoops)  
> 


End file.
